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[May. 2nd, 2005|10:14 am] |
Work. Work. Work. Doesn't work just suck sometimes?
Currently I am on page 20 something of my script and it has been going swimmingly, though with the newest amount of stress I am going under, it has been put to a halt. Go figure, my shit.. not get finished.. I know, it's inconceivable.
Anyway, I wanted to just, well, let my fingers type some fucking words onto a screen in order to make time go faster. ..... Dammit, it really isn't working the way I want it to.
Let's see: how is my love life going? Not sure. I haven't really talked to Jenna in a while, so that kinda sucks. My dick and my hand have become very close friends lately, meeting up at least three times a day. I figure, if I am jerking off, I am not stuffing my face compulsively or stuffing my lungs with poisonous gas. So that's the choice - be a pervert with hairy hands or be a chain-smoking pig with no future. Hmm.. I really don't think I like those choices.
Let's see: loneliness is setting in again. The only thing I have to really defend me against it is my lame jokes and rather sarcastic musings. I also seem to like to hide behind aloof words that are highly descriptive, but leave the reader wondering if this is just an instruction manual for people who want to lose their minds. Who knows? All I have to say is, put the left nut into Panel A until the juice flows from the tip. Don't ask. I don't even really know. |
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| Idealist Possibilities: Issue 4: Knowing Your Fate. |
[Apr. 25th, 2005|09:11 pm] |
Fate.
Some people believe that fate runs ourl ives, that there is no escaping fate, and that it is predetermined even before we are born. With that being said, being born was being of set fate with our parents, in other words, they were destined to create you whether they liked it or not. Not all people believe that their lives are predetermined by some higher being or grand design created by nature, they feel that they are in control of their lives and that with the billions upon billions of choices they have, anything can happen. With that in mind, where do all the other choices go after they haven't been made? Do they create alternate parallel universes suggested by The One? Or are they tossed away and destroyed with the past as suggested by The Langoliers? Either way, while I slightly move off the topic, it suggests that unless there is some alternate plane or some other planar void where all other choices MUST go, then there can never be any true time travel. For going back in time would cause choices to ripple out into more shifts in time ruining aspects in the future with the probable cause of the time machine never actually being built, which would then circle back to the past where the time machine was never built making time continue to the point where the time machine would be built...then we start all over. Armageddon is where we figure out how to go back into time. Jumping back on the subject, for those who believe in time travel, you must also believe in fate for fate would have forced you to design that time machine making it possible for people to go back in time without actually changing anything for that would change fate and fate cannot be changed. It's fate. If it changes, it was MEANT to be changed...because it's fate.
This moves us to a major aspect in most people's lives, the idea and feeling of true love. In most aspects, people who don't believe in fate don't believe in true love. They believe in a set standard of: boy meets girl, boy gets hard-on, boy tries to fuck girl, girl sees boy trying to fuck her, makes it a date, something something something happens, then boom! we have a couple. After that it is just the order of things. Several more datings, making out, fondling, sex, marriage, kids, job, old, then dead...you know the set standard for most lives. And if you look at it from that point of view, it definitely makes sense. Most people live their lives that way, some people live it a different way. Either way, it shows that maybe fate doesn't exist and your whole life was based around choices. With that in mind, what would happen if you made the wrong choice? Or is there a wrong choice? If there isn't, then wouldn't that make it fate? But let's not get to that just yet, let's look at there are wrong choices. What would that make of God or other religions God? Why would God make wrong choices? God is God.. he isn't wrong, thus he should have made the images of himself not have wrong choices, which would be fate, which most people who are Christians, Catholics, and many others believe that there is some set fate. Not all believe in SET fate, but some set fate meaning...sometimes they have choice and sometimes they don't. This sounds like America's idea for "freedom." We are given many choices of what we can do, but most of them are wrong because of set laws. Now, which came first? The Law? Or God? I'll leave that to the philosophers.
Continuing on with true love, if there are so many choices, how are we sure that with all the billions of choices of people we can choose from that our girl/boy that we are seeing and falling in love with is the right one? What if he or she is the right one...right now? What about later? Maybe this person isn't so right in a few months. This concept is rampant all over the place in high school, college, and in life in general. So let's dive into my personal life and set choices. Let's look at my current situation. I am pretty much single, but I have many choices. I have a good idea which choice I want to make, but let's say down the road I meet someone named Jenny or Britney or Stephanie or whatever. These girls are awesome, you know, the girls of my dreams. Which girl is the REAL girl of my dreams? Or maybe, what if ALL the girls were the ones of my dreams? What if this makes my choice of dating no longer monogamy? What if I need to have MANY girls instead of just one? Or perhaps, down the road I find the woman uninteresting and totally mind numbing and I run across someone else that I find attractive? Did fate set up all these women to fail upon me so that I would then be turned gay? Or was it just a matter of time before my choices of women turned me to try men? All these hypothetical questions run through the minds of people who have made the biggest choices of their lives and are now reflecting. What if that is me in 40 years? What if I am staring at the ceiling, all alone, wondering if I should have tried harder with this girl...or that girl...or maybe I should have really concentrated on that girl. Perhaps I really should have stayed with one of the greatest friends I would have ever met, like Melissa? These will eventually reach my mind later on in life when I have made my choices and am living with them.
Fate, the driver of our lives, is another aspect of true love in most people's eyes. Some believe, and in truth, I believe this as well, that there is someone specifically made for you out there...somewhere. I don't believe that all things are set by fate, but I do believe that there is a special someone out there for everyone and you won't know by looking, you won't know by talking, you will know by experience and by feeling. Most people don't know they are made for each other til after they have hated and resented each other to the point of mental break down, then they realize why they keep coming back to each other...it is because they love each other. All in all, I believe there is fate around us, but it is our choices that help fate run its course.
So how exactly do you define your life in the sense of knowing who you are? No one can ever really know. It is life.. a big maze of choices and hidden fates within us all. If we unfortunately hit a dead end it is up to us to pick up our feet and wander around some mroe til finally we find a path that takes us where we need to go. Not all of us are going to the same place, but it's where we want to go is what defines us as who we are. For those of you unhappy with thel ack of humor in this one, fuck you, no one needs humor all the time. But here, I enjoy please all the audiences and it's probably my fate to create this fucking joke.
Back in the day, how the fuck can I say that phrase? I am 22 years old and I am saying "back in the day"? You are not allowed to say that til you're at least 25. Your "day" is right now! When you're 25 you will talk about the day, the day you are in right now, as back in the day. Live in your fucking day, quit thinking about the time when you were wandering about the house with shit in your pants as "back in the day." Back in the day doesn't constitute chewing on toys, swallowing marbles, and pissing on your mom's face. Get a grip..
This concludes todays IP. |
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| Nothing |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|02:16 pm] |
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| |  blank | ] |
In the past I used to be able to block out my feelings so that I would feel nothing, which in turn would make my stress level go down and make things easier to cope with. But as of lately, my ability to block out unpleasant and/or pleasant feelings has been severely faulted, almost to the point where it doesn't exist anymore. Today was a little different though; in the morning I felt good and my mood never changed from good to bad, it merely diminished into nothing, which is how I feel right about now. Nothing.
By means of nothing, I do mean I do not feel hate, I do not feel love, I am not happy nor am I sad, I do not regret nor do I boast, I do not hurt yet I am sore all over, my thoughts are clear yet are of nothing, I am not tired yet I wish to sleep, and I do not wish to die yet I've thought about suicide. Nothing seems to come of it all. It seems as if I am stuck in between my patience and my morals, my love for the other and my need to make that person happy, and finally my work and my play. All these mold into one pile of constant twists that make me wonder what I should or should not do. Yet, with all my nothing I am compelled to write, compelled to speak, compelled to love, which makes this all the more harder.
The last piece that follows this paragraph has been nagging on my heart, mind, and soul for the past.. for longer than I can remember it seems. For those out there who are here to read something funny, you better stop now because this post has about as much humor as a leper in the middle of an anti-war parade. For those of you who want to critique me, fuck you.. I don't care about how you feel. Lastly, I am not depressed. I am far from it.
Once there was a time when I could look in your eyes and see the stars shining, the very essence of who you are streaming out of the gems in your eyes, and it was magic. The purest of hearts, the saintliest of souls, all the greatest things in a person created a glowing aura around you at all times.. and it was magic. You seemd to light the darkest rooms in hell, lift the most horrid stench from the most gruesome pits, and brighten the hearts of dead men, and it was magic.
Yet with all your magic, with all your love, and with all your power, you're blinded by the most conniving truths, deceiving honesties, and lying words. Behind all forms of control lies the deepest form of deception and even though the love that was there was strong, it was still tainted by control. I only wish I could have been able to light your way to something better, something more pure, something which you could hold in your hands and know forever that it would always be true, but I failed again. Failed to free, failed to love, and failed to let you see. For this I apologize, yet I still try, with all my soul I try. I just hope one day I may either be free of this feeling or free you from control. |
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| Idealist Possibilities: Issue 3 - Dating |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|10:33 am] |
Dating is often times the major source of male to female attraction in most people's lifestyles. This is how you get to know someone. You go out, spend money on someone, make sure they have fun, then hope to get naked at the end in a big matress where "live, hot, sticky action" can occur. Anyway, most dates turn out the same.. kiss goodnight, hug goodbye, blah blah blah. Boring shit, but if you're lucky and you are dating some hot person, you can find yourself rolling around in bed getting it on. If you're not so lucky, kinda like a friend of mine, then you will wander around the world searching for that special someone and never finding them because you truly have no decent people skills.
For those of you out there who are lacking the social skills that I speak of; you know, the ones where you can talk to a girl/boy, flirt without being perverted or stalkish, actually hold an interesting conversation, and are decent looking, I might be able to help. Actually, if you lack these things, fuck you, you are on your own. I don't want a whole slew of dumbasses running around creating competition for me while I am out looking for hot women to fuck. My point is, if you feel you are one of these geeky lowlives that I speak of, then find yourself a shotgun or some razorblades and fix your problem. Personally, I have no sympathy because I know what it is like to be a sleezy loser who does nothing but annoy and freak everyone around him out. What did I do? I got popular! I got interesting! I got damn funny and if you want to know how.. figure it out yourselves you bunch of no good material seekers.
For those of you who know what I mean when it comes to the act of dating. You know....the job-like interview that could last all night and where you may have a chance to get naked at the end.. congratulations on your success in the social agenda! But, be warned, don't create competitoin with me, because I will blow a casket and find a way to make you look like the biggest sleeze-ball, lame-brain, cocksucking, gutter slut that you probably are! My point is.. you stay away from my girls and I'll stay away from yours. And for the gay guys out there, please, I have nothing against gay men, but no trying to date me.
Finally, dating is the ritual of modern man and woman, do it as you please, but don't over do it because you will crowd the system. Don't fuck with the system asshole! Enjoy your time with your date, treat him/her well, and reap the rewards. And for those people who get offended by this.. fuck you if you can't take a joke. |
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| Coming down from an imaginary high |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|05:12 pm] |
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| |  aggravated | ] |
Jesus... If I was a woman, it would definitely be that time of the month for me. For some odd reason I've been strangely aggravated and constantly and very easily annoyed by the abstract actions of the world. Ants annoy me with their mechanic brains, following each other like Hindu cows being led into a pen, with the precise certainty of death that Nazi prison camps offer(ed). Knowing full well, beef is what's for dinner. Actually, I don't over analyze things this way but simple things like little inconveniences and stupid questions trigger, anxiety. Maybe I'm coming down from a high I don't know about, it sure feels like it.
Well in good news, I rented Quills, a magnificent movie I might add. You know, maybe you're wondering if I have problems, "issues" what have you...but I don't. I just don't give a shit what people think, I splurge and spill out all the nonsense in my head, or whatever comes to mind, no matter how silly it may seem to me or you. I suggest you try it. Oh in other news, I started designing some stuff today, my mp3 player won't play mp3s and I made 120 bucks today. |
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| Idealist Possibilities: Issue 2 - Greed. |
[Apr. 15th, 2005|04:07 pm] |
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| |  contemplative | ] |
Perhaps one of the most defining characteristics of man is the sin Greed. It is what drives us to go out and hurt other people for personal gain, to be devious, and to bring out the most basic of human instincts; violence. Greed is the most view-changing, personality-altering, and relationship-ruining attribute of most human beings because it is the sense of having your own fortune that makes people think they will be happy, when it will only ruin the lives around you and the happiness established before greed reared its ugly head in.
How do we stop greed? Very simple, you use a little thing called conscience and morals. Most people are unaware that they have either of these, but usually it is there...somewhere buried under that blackened and greedy heart of theirs. Politicans have the worst greed ever because they are all out to run the world...the one in that little brain of theirs and the one that everyone else lives in. The very need for power is what drives their lust. Power and money can make any simple farmer a god in the eyes of the world.
Morals. Having some morals on how you deal with money can help you become immune to the disease known as Greed. Being a person who looks at money as merely a helpful hand in your world rather than the ruler of your mind can make you a wonderful person who is happy while being rich. If you aren't rich yet, remember what it is like to be poor when the time comes that you get money. Let not greed run your life for money, let the want for your family to prosper beyond you drive you to that point. Morals can save anyone.
Example of someone without morals:
A man one day runs into a bank with a shotgun and holds the people there hostage for their money. He orders the people who work at the bank to empty out the vault and hand over the money. Without thinking someone flinches and the man blows the guys head off. Moral loss? Yes! Major moral loss. The people are now running scared because the man just sprayed some poor schmucks head all over the walls, so the thief pulls out his machine gun and starts wasting the people who are running for the doors. The guards now unload their weapons into the man's chest as he turns around to fire upon them. Now 10-20 people are dead and the thief dies in the process of Greed.
Which is more fatal? Greed or AIDS? Interesting prospcet.
Secondly, conscience. What the fuck would anyone do without their conscience? I'll tell you what they would do.. they would let greed run their life without sparing any costs to their family, friends, or pets. 10 bucks to kill my mom? Done! Where's my money bitch?! What? Run over my neighbors dog with a steamroller? Oh, you mean the one with the beautiful face, three legs and the limp? 20 bucks?! Well shit! Give me the machine and watch that puppy get splattered all over the road.
Greed can make people do the craziest of things. Stay conscious of greed because it can sneak up behind you. You can be wandering around going: "I am totally immune to greed." Then someone comes up to you and goes: "Hey, I will give you $100,000 to go fuck that girl. She may kick and scream, but trust me, it's all an act. It's her rape fantasy." Whoa shit! 100 grand! And free sex! Right on! "All right, I'll do it!" Guess what? Now you have to get off of her, then man who said he would give you the money is gone, and the police are cuffing you and taking you off to jail. The more of this story? Don't believe a man when he says "rape fantasy", he's just a jerk off who wants to jerk off to someone getting raped. You sick, motherfuckers!
Moving on...
Greed shouldn't control you, you should control your own destiny. Don't let anyone ever tell you different. |
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| Idealist Possibilities: Issue 1 - Sex |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|05:29 pm] |
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| |  devious | ] |
Now I don't want people to think that only negative thoughts shall be posted here. So here is a little bit less aggressive thought for you.
Sex.
Many people look at that word and get all red in the face. Not me. I look at it and wonder its true meaning. Is the meaning of sex a complex, intricate, never ending cycle of misconceptions and lies merged with the gentle feeling of love for another OR just two people fucking? But for some others it's more than two people fucking. It's HUNDREDS of people fucking! I'm all for that! Sharing each other with other possible infectious bodies molded together in one great sticky orgy of love. Sounds like Disney World. A place where you can go on many rides. All you can eat! My kind of place.
But other people think sex is this spiritual thing, this act that can only be done after marriage because if done before you somehow taint the person's body. That is total bullshit. Their body has already been tainted from the yearning and the temptation of sex. They may have not done it, but they have thought of some seriously kinky shit along the way. That has to count for something. If someone is wandering around the street as a virgin, but thinking about raping some 14 year old, that has to be a tainted man right there. And for things like that the books that tell you such bullshit are so general. They leave so many things open for questioning. Look at the Bible, you cannot fornicate, fornication is sex before marriage. Well can you do other things besides sex? Can you eat a girl out? Give a great blow job? How about finger fucking them til they cum? By all technicalities, anal sex isn't sex! By being technical you could get away with many things. I find that amusing Now on to the next sin on our list, adultery. It says you cannot engage in sex with another person while being married. Couldn't you, by technicality, butt fuck some chick? Yeah, that is pretty close to sex isn't it, well then you could always get a monster blow job. Or you can eat some fantastic pussy! Eatin' ain't cheatin'!
Some people right now are laughing their ass off, some are horny as fuck, while others are pissed off that I would even mention such a thing like this in a public place. Well, to all those people who think that, fuck you. You're the type of people that we all make fun of, and dammit, that's a great thing.
Back to sex. I am thinking sex is just a simple act of enjoying someone else's company in a very erotic, pleasureful way. There is no hidden secret, no between the lines, just good company with an explosive ending. Sadly most women feel the need to make a relationship out of it. Look, by fucking, we have established a relationship, but they want committment, prenuptial agreements, marriage, children, all that shit. Look lady, I like you, but right now, get the fuck away from me. I was just here to have sex, not get into some heated sexual/emotion twist with you where I feel that the walls in every room are closing in on me, the air is thinning, and my life force is being sucked out of every pore in my body. It was sex, not a honeymoon.
Now women are going crazy because I've turned their little love fantasy into a bitter reality of bullshit. Yes ladies, love is bullshit. It's something men say to get some pussy from you, that is it. It takes you a long time to find someone who really loves you, because most men just think you're a hot woman with great tits and a fine ass. Realize this, 99% of men that are nice to you are only thinking about fucking you. And out of that 1% are gay men and men who are monks. They don't want to fuck you anyway, why? Because they can't!
Don't take sex too seriously. It's a fun act and a great pleasure. Realize that whoever you're having sex with probably doesn't like you outside of sex. Once you get that down you will realize rejection isn't that bad of a thing. It's just an excuse to go out and fuck someone new.
After note: Most of this is just something I found amusing at the time when I was a bit angry and I decided to post on here. Some of it is just me talking out of my ass without any real truth to it, just an interesting view.
Also, more Idealist Possibilities are to come and most of them are just the same way. I was just talking shit to cool my mind down. If some people get offended, then that sounds like something they just need to get over. |
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| UGH!!!! |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|04:08 pm] |
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| |  infuriated | ] |
Let's see, where to begin. Oh, okay! How about this: why can't women just get a grip? I'm really sick of being judged bceause I decide to let them do what they want. No judgement from me, just do what you want. No, they can't do what they want because they have to suddenly think I am bitter or pissed off.
Then, they use their previous anger to suddenly blow something else totally out of proportion that wasn't anything at all. Then we have fights like this. Then, we have bullshit like this. Lashing out against me and acting all high and mighty with their twisted reasoning and their bullshit idealisms. And what can I do? Apparently because I am a fucking man I am always wrong. Hey fuck you then. I would rather think I am right some of the time then wrong all the time, which is unfortunate because with some women they don't let you be right because... I DON'T KNOW WHY.
So I didn't say goodbye so I didn't say I love you this ONE time. Whoopdy doo. Do I really have to say it everytime? Do I have to remind you so that you can feel more secure about a relationship? Do I have to be the one that explains the situation when YOU back me up into a wall? Being upset is fine, but not even listening to me is another thing. Suddenly it is my fault and when I try to explain how I feel you say "no that isn't how you feel because you didn't do this and this so this must mean you are this." Well, fuck that, you don't know how I feel. You don't know how I think. Quit trying to fucking judge me based upon your very diseased mentality.
I am so emotional? I was the one who stayed up to try to explain things, but thank god I talked Kaylie first because whoa! It gave me a little warning before I was going to have my head chopped off. Next time you want to just jump my shit on something you don't know anything about and are too fucking dense to listen to, how about you save us all the trouble and take your shit and go elsewhere. Go bitch to your sister, to Matt, or to Brian so then you can talk shit about him later. You have a real friendship complex.
Well, I feel a bit better now. |
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| The Knife... |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|03:05 pm] |
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| | mischievous | ] |
Often times people look at knives, usually the gothic ones anyway, and think what it would be like to slice the skin along their wrist or throat or somewhere it may bleed all over their body to bleed out the pain they have just felt for their entire life. I do not think this way, in fact, when I look at a knife, I think how fragile the human body is. I ponder why we are the top of the food chain when we are such fragile creatures.
We, as a collective sense of people, shy away from pain and run cowardly away when pain may be present to our lives. There is a minority out tehre, though, that disagrees with this sense of fear with pain. I happen to be in this group. Some get called gothic freaks, masochists, suicidal's self-annihilartors, reborn ritualistic's, and so on and so on. But in reality, we know the balance of life and death, we understand that before death, usually there is pain... and sometimes lots of it. I see pain as merely your body telling you..."you're not dead yet."
Some people look at this philosophy as a satanic or evil mentality that musn't populate the world because it would "taint" the minds of our children. But instead of tainting the minds we make children weak...and scared of pain when they should respect it as a force of nature that will one day claim their life if they do not recognize it.
Often times, being able to deal with mass amounts of pain or fear of pain can save your life. The mind is what keeps our body alive and if your body tells you that you are experiencing too much pain it shuts down and it will no longer function to save your life...instead you will just lay there...bleeding til your body hasn't the blood left to bleed.
If you welcome pain and respect it, your body will recognize this pain as the signal that you are still alive and maybe dying, thus will work harder to get you up and to help as quickly as possible. This is merely a defensive structure your body instinctively recognizes as "the death cycle." Now, most people in nature, their instinct on life is...not dying, so the death cycle is something to shun.
Now, not all people are this way, some people are truly self-annihilators and want to kill themselves. This sort of behavior isn't to be toyed with nor is it to be welcomed and all persons doing so really should find a new hobby. I sympathize with people who are having so many issues that they feel their only way out is through suicide, but to come and announce it and make the people around you feel guilty is wrong. If you want help, then ask for help, explain your situation and find someone who you can trust to listen.
Enough on that..
Conclusion: pain is your body's way of saying "Hey pal, you aren't dead yet, but if you don't get help you'll be pretty well fucked! Get on your feet, lazy ass! Go go go! Damn this guy isn't listening! Well fuck you buddy! We ain't dying today! Nerves! Attack! Ooooh yeah. That's the shit! You're gonna be in agony now brother! What?! Fuck turning the body off! We just got this party started! Fuck you Cerebral Cortex! We are running the-------[power off]" [Black out] [Game Over]
...Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke |
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| First kiss |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|05:06 pm] |
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| |  anxious | ] |
The first time our lips touched, she squeezed her thighs and broke my glasses. |
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| Morning..well...afternoon |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|12:33 pm] |
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| |  tired | ] |
I actually got some sleep. My body shut down at about 6:30AM when Jen woke me up to bother me with how my LJ bothered her. You know what, fuck her, no one really likes her. All she does is annoy people with her constant babble about nothing.
On a more positive note, the sleep was pretty good and thank god Ally didn't get here early in the morning. I would have felt really really stupid. Anyway, I am still waiting to drop the news. Not fun times.
I think I might go to the beach later on and go swimming, but I'm not sure if I will or not yet. I just know that I want to enjoy my week since I'm on vacation (paid vacation at that) and be lazy and do absolutely nothing, since I really don't have much to do. |
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| Still awake... |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|05:57 am] |
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| |  restless | ] |
After getting an account with this place, I have felt a little better because I get to get my most intimate feelings out and not give a fuck what anyone else thinks. I get really crude and mean when I am really tired...either that or I get goofy and incoherent, but other than that, I am pretty much...obvious that I haven't had any sleep.
Moving on. We see now that Sean has much on his mind outside the confines of his IPs, in fact, he finds it more interesting to write here because of the fact that it doesn't necessarily have to be about anything. What is on my mind right now? Well...telling Ally about what happened, hoping she doesn't freak out, and going to sleep sometime soon. If I don't get the last of my three wants...I'll try not to lose any sleep over it.
Well, it is daybreak, and I am hoping that Ally returns soon so that I can break the news and get on with my life. I'll just keep waiting then. |
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| One of those days... |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|05:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cynical | ] |
An interesting day yesterday was. It started out pretty shitty and ended just about the same way. Though what made it interesting was that it was a damn good day all through the middle of it. Let's see, wandering around in the darkness of my mind in the morning before I attempted to rouse my aching body from bed was the beginning of my day which I shall entitle: "The Day of the Shit." Not because I encountered truckloads of human or other animal waste, but because it had to be one of the Top Ten bad days I have had recently.
Morning: I woke up with the worst sore throat of all time. I couldn't talk, couldn't eat, and couldn't drink. I could hardly breathe without feeling a sharp needle stabbing into my throat. Not only did my throat beg to be split, but my back, which has just recently gotten into a warm relationship with the sun and its overly powerful UV rays, has been burnt to the point where I move it in any minor direction, I will feel every minor wrinkle that I create. What a way to start the day.
Afternoon: Here is where it gets a bit better. After lounging around the house all fucking day, I got a call from my ex-girlfriend, whoopdy fuckin' doo! She wants me to come and visit her at work. Now she is a lifeguard and is working a good 10 miles from where I live and since I wrecked my car and haven't bothered getting a new one, I had to WALK this distance. Happy go lucky day for me. When I got there, it's all well and good. I hung out there for about...6 hours. Then I went home. No sex. No nothing. Worthless 6 hours, huh?
Evening: Well, after such a lovely day, who could possibly complain? Well, I can! I get onilne and start chatting with my friends, and guess what? My long time friend, Lea, had skipped off for some unknown reason. Now he has spooked my ex-ex-girlfriend, spooked another ex-girlfriend, and now I have to explain to HIS girlfriend why he left. Well.. I have stayed up all night for this, I want to reach this girl before any other schmuck can come around and fuck shit up. No no buckaroos! This is my responsibility, because it is a delicate thing to stay with her since she loves him to death. And I do not want her to do anything really, really, really fucking stupid over this.
One of those days? Oh yes...one of those days, but luckily for me it is in the past since right now...it's tomorrow. |
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royalsin's journal